Thursday, September 2, 2010
A Real Fight. BUT...I Was Never Alone.
090110. A sequence of numbers that I will never forget. 09/01/10. A date I will never forget. As I look back over how this could have happened to me or WHY this could have happened to me, I am left praying for a revelation from our Father. And maybe I will never get one, other than...”I will NEVER let go of you!” Because I know for a fact yesterday, JESUS HIMSELF had me in HIS HANDS.
The last few days had been wonderful days, filled with praise and worship. With two business ideas preparing to be birthed, ways were being opened for me, structure was being set, and FEAR was being over-come. On top of that, I had been doing Bible reading with my office assistant (who was raised under another belief), and the day before (08-31-10), she actually asked me if I would pray with her for a revelation of who God was and understanding. Which we held hands, and I prayed with and for her. And it was a wonderful feeling knowing God was hearing our prayers ans she was in search of “SALVATION”. That evening I went home, as I was preparing dinner and listening to one of my favorite Pastors, he was peaching about how we are to put on the whole amour, and to STAND. He kept saying “Stand”.
Then, the very next morning, it was as if I was on the TOP of the enemy's hit list!!! And with out describing all of the things I was going through, I want to describe it “mentally”. It started by a harassing and pressing phone call. And when I received the phone call, it was as if I had been pulled into a spiritual hell, with demons determined to get me to end my life. I remember thinking “Oh my goodness, how can I do this? I can't do this!!! I might as well just end my life!!!” Then I remember asking...”Why is this happening??? Lord, what is happening to me???” And all the time I am driving around town, deciding if I am going home to end my life. My thoughts were...”I might as well end my life now. But will I go to heaven???” And when I started thinking about Heaven...my thoughts went to...”Lord help me!!!!! What is going on???? Then I remembered what the Pastor said the night before...we have to STAND! So I started to pray,... LORD, Help me stand!!!!” And this battle went on for over an hour, with me driving around, fighting the thoughts that were leading me to end my life.
THEN. I returned to my office. Thinking I was going to pack it up and just leave, for some reason, I open my email. And the very first email was titled...”THE BATTLE IS OVER!” And I cried!!!! But it was a cry of relief. Because I then understood what was going on. For whatever reason, the enemy tried to convince me to take my life. BUT...GOD would not let me go. It was as if HE allowed it to happen. HE allowed me to call out too and understand just WHO HE WAS IN MY LIFE! Later that afternoon, as I continued to think about the entire ordeal, I read a message that said...”The pressure will come to convince you to do something that you neither want to do nor have been moved by My Spirit to do. Stand your ground without wavering, and do not give in to anything that causes stress or has a sense of urgency about it. For, the enemy wants you to be distracted from an important chain of events that will produce greater spiritual power and benefit as you continue in the flow of My wisdom and blessings, says the Lord.
Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled with a yoke of bondage.”
As I awoke this morning, STILL reflecting on the past events, I was so very thankful for another day. I was thankful for life. And I was thankful for a loving God that would not allow me to be taken, snatched from HIS hand.
Our daily lives are a struggle. We live in a fallen world. When we desire to live holy, blameless lives, the enemy is out to stop us. BUT...the LORD, who is our Shepard, will never leave us nor forsake us.
090110. A sequence of numbers that I will never forget. 09/01/10. A date I will never forget.
A life lesson, to be remembered for ever. HIS Grace and Mercy...Not allowing me to get what I deserve...DEATH and giving me, what I don't deserve...LIFE.
Jesus is my Lord and Saviour. And I thank Him.